Friday, June 22, 2007

From Heaven's Heart I Stab at Thee;

Call me Herbert. Weeks ago I harpooned and usurped the wild and terrifying beast “The Music Minister Who Succumbs To the Worldly Pleasures of Praise and Worship Music” (It is a long name, so I gave him that nickname “Loki.”)

With a few intercepted emails I have flung my faithful spear into the heart of the wild and fiery beastly Loki Dick. He now flounders in the waves of incompetence and Herbert servitude. From the bloody waves a gurgly cry emerged from his lips: “Nay valiant Herbert, you shant take my trip for two to Jamaica! Unsheathe thy piercing dagger and let me bask on the beaches of the Dark Men with my Mims.”

“Avast” said I. “I will not. Besides Loki Dick, though you may be a lower life form, you are supposed to mate for life, and your wife, though a strange oversized fishly beast herself, should be the only one worthy of your wandering eye!”

Part II

Loki entered the stage where Blonde Bimbo was limping. “What the hell is going on in here Herbert? What did you do?”

I remained silent.

“He’s blackmailing me with some email he stole.” Blurted Bimbo.

“What do you mean by, emails he stole.”

“I mean he’s got a copy covered in plastic or something of one of my private email!”

Loki looked pale. The fear was sitting in nicely.

“Herbert… do you mean you got into our email accounts?”

“I did no such thing. As I was telling Blondie here, these emails simply turned up on the floor one day and I saved them from further viewing. Not to worry though, they are safe and sound, copied and in three locations, Mims… I mean, Maestro.”

When I said the name “Mims,” Loki looked as though he would faint. He was speechless with fear and rage.

The whale had reared his blubbery smooth scalp and I had thrust my weapon, striking true and clean.

6 comments:

Flannery Alden said...

Avast! You've got the scoundrels on the run!

Doc said...

You Sir, are cold blooded, and I like that about you. I can't wait for the next installment!

Doc

Big Orange said...

I'm swooning o'er here, picturing in mine minds eye a long happy dagger, buried to the shaft in thine enemies blubbery flesh as he is reduced to looking at the long protrusion with cockeyed dismay!!

Mmmmm!!

Mz Jackson said...

Ah, Herbert, how I have missed you! But it's been too long since your last installment! I'm beginning to fear that Loki has done away with you. Shall we send in Columbo or the crew from CSI?

Doc said...

Dear Sir,
It has been more than a fortnight and you have yet to come back to us. Please don't leave us hanging.

Doc

Doc said...

It is almost 9/1/07 and still nothing? Return to us. Return to the fold that love thee. Give us a glimmer that we may hold onto at least.