From Heaven's Heart I Stab at Thee;

Call me Herbert. Weeks ago I harpooned and usurped the wild and terrifying beast “The Music Minister Who Succumbs To the Worldly Pleasures of Praise and Worship Music” (It is a long name, so I gave him that nickname “Loki.”)

With a few intercepted emails I have flung my faithful spear into the heart of the wild and fiery beastly Loki Dick. He now flounders in the waves of incompetence and Herbert servitude. From the bloody waves a gurgly cry emerged from his lips: “Nay valiant Herbert, you shant take my trip for two to Jamaica! Unsheathe thy piercing dagger and let me bask on the beaches of the Dark Men with my Mims.”

“Avast” said I. “I will not. Besides Loki Dick, though you may be a lower life form, you are supposed to mate for life, and your wife, though a strange oversized fishly beast herself, should be the only one worthy of your wandering eye!”

Part II

Loki entered the stage where Blonde Bimbo was limping. “What the hell is going on in here Herbert? What did you do?”

I remained silent.

“He’s blackmailing me with some email he stole.” Blurted Bimbo.

“What do you mean by, emails he stole.”

“I mean he’s got a copy covered in plastic or something of one of my private email!”

Loki looked pale. The fear was sitting in nicely.

“Herbert… do you mean you got into our email accounts?”

“I did no such thing. As I was telling Blondie here, these emails simply turned up on the floor one day and I saved them from further viewing. Not to worry though, they are safe and sound, copied and in three locations, Mims… I mean, Maestro.”

When I said the name “Mims,” Loki looked as though he would faint. He was speechless with fear and rage.

The whale had reared his blubbery smooth scalp and I had thrust my weapon, striking true and clean.